Archive for the tag “self improvement”

Keep your relationships healthy and transparent

Our lives depend on the relationships we have. Our relationships with our family and friends have great impact on our personal life where as relationships at the workplace controls our career. Relationships are like baby trees. You have to nurture them, keep them clean and protected. Otherwise they will become dull and eventually, dead. You certainly don’t want your relations to become dull or dead.

Our relationships are most affected by our hectic work schedules and busy life. Your problems are never only yours. They affect your relationships very badly. Sometimes a bad relationship can become an unbearable burden to you. That’s why it is so important to keep your relationships healthy and transparent. With our extra busy life it’s not easy to take care of the relationships. But there are some steps we can follow to keep our relationships healthy.

Steps of keeping a healthy relationship:

  1. Don’t avoid a problem in a relationship. If any problem occurs, speak directly and explain it.
  2. If you can’t do something, let the person know. Don’t keep your commitments hanging in the air.
  3. If you are offended by someone’s words or action, tell them directly. Tolerance never does any good.
  4. Don’t suppress your anger or annoyance for too long. Because if you keep suppressing them, they will just become intolerable and you will outburst. It is not good for your health or your relationship.
  5. If you can’t support an action or a decision, speak it out. Don’t pressurize yourself to accept something you can’t support.
  6. Be strong. Don’t give in to someone’s illegitimate demands. Don’t lose your self-respect while trying to please someone else. Don’t pressurize yourself into doing something just in the name of good sport.
  7. Too much modesty is not good. You don’t have to be too polite. Just keep the necessary respect.
  8. Never insult yourself trying to socialize or be popular. Always take what’s rightfully yours and respect others rights.
  9. Let others know what you like and what you don’t. By keeping mum you just insult yourself and your choices.
  10. You have to stand up for your rights. Learn to be tough when it’s necessary. Sometimes saying ‘NO’ to an unjust demand is the best you can do.

 

There will always be problems in life. It’s the same with relationships. There will be bumps in the road. Sometimes you will be able to solve them; sometimes they will knock you down. But if you try to avoid them, it will just increase pressure on your mind, create distances, and harm your relationship. In the ride of life, your relationships will ride along with you all the time. And if you keep your relationships healthy and transparent, they will be your aid in the troublesome times. If you don’t, they can add more problems to your already troubled life. You have to decide what you want your relationships to be- your savior or your burden.

Peace Out 🙂

Sign up for FREE video tutorials here

Advertisements

Finding your Inspiration

Inspiration does not come with a rule book. There is no one-size-fits-all. Often what inspires you will be meaningless to someone else. Where they see a river, you may see a flowing blue-green path full of life that has seen wonders along its shores of which you can only imagine.

Motivation requires action. Inspiration on the other hand, is more of an idea, and can come from anywhere at any time. Inspiration is a feeling deep within yourself that you must do something. There may be no logical reason why, you just know that you must. Inspiration is the spark that gets you started. Motivation is what will keep you going.

So, where might you find inspiration? It’s all around you.

Inspiration may sneak up and tap your shoulder you while you are playing with your children, cooking a meal, driving to work, reading a great book, or even while you are taking a shower. These are all routine activities and a time when your mind is allowed to wander. This is exactly the time that the doors of possibility open and inspiration slips inside.

Doodling is a great activity for opening the door. Let your mind be free of the clutter of life. Who cares if your stick people are lacking character! Just have fun with it. With a clear mind you will find random ideas start to creep in. Great ideas, crazy ideas, incredible ideas.

Another place inspiration can be found is at your local market. Let your senses be stimulated by the sights and smells of the season, the activity of the merchants selling their goods, and the taste of the dishes you will create with your purchases. An art gallery or museums are other good places to visit when looking for inspiration.

Many times we are inspired by the acts of others who have completed amazing feats like climbing a mountain, or who have dedicated their lives to helping others. You may be inspired by love, by a friendship, or by nature.

I find inspiration in my little girl. She inspires me to want to lead a better, happier, fulfilling life. She inspires me to want to become someone who will inspire her.

Inspiration will find you when you least expect it. When it does find you, recognize its potential and happily take the ride. Perhaps you will become an inspiration to someone else along the way.

Peace Out

Go here to get your FREE video tutorials 

Find your passion

Everyone in this world has some talent. It could be anything from being a mastermind to knowing how to grow crops. No one is talentless in true sense. Yet some people use their talent to shine and rise above all when others lag behind. Those people have found their passion and followed it. If you have a passion then you already know about its power. If you don’t have one, I’m sure you’ve been told plenty of times to find one. Passion drives you to try your best to make it work. Passion works as a fuel for all the sacrifices you make to achieve your goal. Without passion, it’s really tough to stay focused on your goal especially with all these extreme pressures of the race of being successful. If you do something you’re not passionate about, you can’t be successful. Even if you become successful, it will last for a very short period until you get frustrated and give up. Because when you are not passionate about something, you don’t feel happy and satisfied rather you feel trapped, which is the last thing anyone would ever want to feel. So you must have a passion. But the question is, how to find one if you have none? Well, there is no straight cut formula or path to find your passion. It’s not available in Google maps! But there are some steps which might help you to find your passion. All you have to do is be eager enough to find it.

How to find your passion:

  1. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. For a moment forget about your situation, your worries, your duties, forget everything that you are supposed to be taking care of.
  2. Now think back of your happy days. Perhaps your school years? Just think of a time when you didn’t feel pressurized about being someone in life.
  3. Think about the things you loved to do. Things that you were interested in. Things that made you happy. Things that you were good in doing. Perhaps you were good in drawing or cooking? There has to be something you loved and were good in. No matter how small you think of this work and how absolutely silly and impossible it may seem to you now, just give it a chance.
  4. Now try to find the reasons for you to love that work. And try to find out if you still feel the same because if you do, you’ve found your passion.
  5. If that doesn’t help, then try to find something that interests you. Something that you would love doing for the rest of your life.

 

Life is never easy and we have to deal with tons of things. Sometimes responsibility, sometimes circumstances take away the chance of pursuing our passions. But you have to remember that you only live once and you deserve to be happy in this short period. Whatever it is that’s standing between you and your passion, you can overcome it. In this competitive world where everything is judged by its price, it won’t be easy to find your passion and follow it. But you must be strong and fight for it. You just have to trust in yourself, and success will come running after you.

Peace Out 🙂

Think like a champion

There are always times when we feel like luck has turned against us. That everything is going wrong and the word around us is collapsing. And there are people who have the perfect life you always wished for. Those who rule life like champions. What you have to know that, the person who has everything on his side, doesn’t have any super power, or luck favoritism. Yes, he is talented and special but so are you. The only thing that makes someone successful and others not is the mindset. To become a champion, you have to think like a champion. The people who are successful in their fields always think that nothing is impossible for them as long as they try hard. If you keep thinking that something is not possible for you then it will become impossible though you had the potentials for doing it. Because you already gave up on trying thinking you can’t do this. Negative thinking compels us on quitting things in the middle while positive thinking drives us, makes us work harder to achieve our goals. Negative thinking stops us from facing the problem and creates illusions making us addicted to thinking negatives. As a result you lose everything. So the first step towards success is to let go negative thinking and start thinking positively.

How to stop negative thinking:

  1. First you have to identify the negative thoughts.
  2. Challenge the negative thoughts. Are they right? Are they necessary? Are they helpful? Ask yourself these questions.
  3. Practice positive thinking. Whenever any negative thought comes to your mind, try to think something positive. Diverting your mind is always helpful. Make yourself busy with some work so your mind doesn’t get time to ponder over the negative thought.

 

Practice positive thinking:

  1. Tell yourself repeatedly that you can do this.
  2. Tell yourself that you deserve more than what you settle for and there’s no reason that you shouldn’t get your goal.
  3. Even if there are reasons for you to not succeed, you can beat them all.
  4. Believe in yourself and your abilities. Keep yourself reminding that you are a gifted person and so very special.

When you have the right mind set and believe in your abilities everything seems possible and that gives you the strength to fight for what you want and makes you a winner. So think positively to get your goals.

Are You A Yes Person?

Do you automatically say ‘Yes’ to whatever anyone asks of you? Alot of people do this. People call me, so stressed out, exhausted and overwhelmed. When I ask them what their day of week has been like they often break out in tears. Often saying “I just can’t do it anymore!”

Over time, they’ve agreed to do so much for other people that they literally have no time left for themselves. They end up sleep deprived, they suffer insomnia, they suffer from increasing levels of anxiety. Then, after a while this starts to manifest in physical symptoms. Back pain, headaches, ulcers, their weight fluctuates. If left for too long they may develop dis-ease.

They start telling me what they do on a daily basis. Their list of things they do for other people is endless. Then I ask them ‘What do you do for you?’ I can see them searching, trying to remember the last time they stopped. The last time they just relaxed or did something enjoyable or fun.

There’s a sense of relief. They finally know what’s ailing them. They also usually feel angry towards the other people in their lives that have kept asking them to do things for them.

They need to start to re-establish their boundaries. They need to stop automatically saying ‘Yes’. Initially this can be challenging. It has become habit, second nature. They are also fearful of offending others by saying ‘No’. I suggest to people that when they are asked to do something, to say “Let me think about it.” Or, ‘Just let me see what else I’ve got on, I’ll get back to you.” This is a reasonable request and the other person can not be offended, you have the right to take your time and think about it.

Then go away and ask yourself one question, and one question only. “Do I want to do this?” This one question will do wonders for your life. If you don’t want to do it, then don’t. If you do want to do it, then go ahead. You have to stop doing things in order to please others. You will just end up resenting the other person. You will end up exhausted, emotionally, mentally and physically.

Remember there is one question and one question only. “Do I want to do it?”

 

Peace Out 🙂

 

(P.S Obviously there are times when there will be things you need to do. Especially when it comes to your children. Then, you need to change the way you look at it, turning it into a positive. I will go into this in a later article.)

Overcoming Obstacles

On the road to accomplish your goal, you will encounter obstacles. How you deal with those challenges will make all the difference in your world.

What are your options?

You could just stop. Surrender. Let the obstacle defeat you. Give up on your goal. Give up on a happy and fulfilling life.

Or, you could accept that with change comes challenge. Accept that overcoming these obstacles is part of your growth and self-development on the path to the person you want to become, living the life you want to live.

You will come up against obstacles, and you will need to figure out how to go around, over, or through them. It is possible that you will be required to change your path entirely. There is nothing wrong with having to find another way to reach your goal, as long as you do take the action required to find that alternate path.

Do not let the challenge become the sole focus of your day. Sometimes the best solutions will come to you when you are not thinking about the problem.

Sleep on it. It’s amazing how the morning can give you a new perspective on the obstacle and open your mind to the possibilities that could solve the problem.

Ask for help if you need it. Talking about the challenge with someone who is supportive of the change you are making, or someone who has made the change themselves, could provide solutions you had not thought of.

Didn’t meet your weight loss goal of the week.

Didn’t pass a test in a course to further your education.

You have writers block.

Didn’t get the promotion.

Acknowledge that the week didn’t go as well as you would have liked, but take a moment to examine why this obstacle appeared in the first place.

Did you eat right and exercise every day?

Did you understand all the material?

Sometimes there will be no clear answer. That’s ok. Sometimes things just happen (or don’t). If there is an answer, be sure to work in into your goal path.

You didn’t understand all the material you were being tested on. Did you ask for help and clarification? Did you do everything you could to gain a better understanding?

The most important thing is not to get discouraged. Your biggest critic is you. Not succeeding does not mean that you failed. Maybe you need to make some tweaks to your plan.

You didn’t lose the amount of weight you wanted to this week. Maybe it’s time to make adjustments to your exercise routine.

Do focus on what you did accomplish. If you lost some of the weight, that’s still something. You didn’t pass the test, but you did sign up to take the course. You didn’t get the promotion, but at least you applied.

If you do start to feel defeated and think maybe you should quit, think about why you started making the change in the first place. Take inspiration from what you have already accomplished, and move forward. Accept the learning lessons presented to you in overcoming the obstacle and apply them to your goal path.

Life would be boring without the challenges.

 

Have a Mojo Day 🙂

The Pursuit of Happiness

Happiness. We wish for it, look for it, dream about it, and toast to it. We plan for it and we hope it comes our way. Some people try to buy it. We can be the cause of it for others. It can be created, and it should be nurtured.

Most often we are found pursuing it. But does anyone ever find happiness?

Perhaps it is not actually happiness we are pursuing, but joy.

Happiness is a state of contentment. Being happy is momentary. Happiness is affected by outside forces.

Joy, by comparison, comes from within. It is the elation that lasts. It is an underlying, good feeling that never seems to disappear. It is peacefulness in knowing you are satisfied with your life. Joy is a deeper feeling, not a passing emotion, and creates a greater sense of well-being.

When people speak of being truly happy and fulfilled in life, they most often mean that they have found the joy within themselves.

But how do you get from momentary happiness to lasting joy? The answer is simple to give, but can take time to achieve as it requires a change in habits. To find joy, you must be open to seeing all the little sparks of happiness, which combine to create an overall feeling of joy in your life.

Being successful, whatever that may mean to you, can make you happy and can also contribute to your joy.

Good fortune however, has nothing to do with it. The luck of winning a prize will give you a moment of happiness, but the feeling will fade.

Possessions are not where you will find joy. Too much effort is put into the accumulation of material things. An item may bring you brief happiness, but in the long term, will not bring you joy.

Not that any of the above items are necessarily bad things, but they are often the focus of our lives, and we miss the simple pleasures that are right in front of us that create true joy. We are too busy pursuing happiness, when what we truly aspire to achieve is joy.

Happiness comes and goes. People are pursuing that feeling, though it is fleeting. Joy is what lasts and will not be found in material success or wealth.

You can choose to be happy, and have a positive outlook. This choice will enable you to find happiness in your everyday life. Open your eyes and your mind to see all the simple moments in your day that create happiness: the smell of fresh coffee, the quiet of the morning air, the smile of your spouse, a hug from your child.

Now, think of these small moments combined, and feel the overall sense of joy and peace of mind.

Knowing what you are truly pursuing, seek out the sparks of happiness in your day. Sooner than you realize, you will find your joy.

 

Letting Go Of Unhealthy Relationships

This year I’ve had the unfortunate experience of dealing with not one, but two very nasty people that were in my life. These people purposefully set out to control, bully and manipulate me. Slowly but surely wearing me down. It took me about 9 months before I was able to finally get these people out of my life. They came one after another, so that’s been 18 months where I have had to deal with abusive people.

I then started to read up on and do research on how to deal with these sorts of people. There were 6 main points.

  • Avoid further conflict, don’t react to their bad behaviour.
  • Tell them you’ve heard what they’ve said and will talk about it with them later once they have calmed down
  • Be compassionate, know that they are coming from a place of fear and that people who are fearful often become nasty.
  • Look at the role you have played in this interaction.
  • Try to see things from their perspective.
  • Walk away.

Then it hit me like a bolt of lightening. Why on earth should I be spending my time and energy dealing with other peoples’ on going bad behaviour? I realised then that I simply didn’t want these people in my life. I am a nice person, I care about others, I feel for other people and I try to help. While these are good qualities to have there are some people out there that take advantage of this. There are people out there that actively seek happy, cheerful, loving people and see just how much they can take from you, these people are often referred to as energy vampires. They will drain you of your energy.

These people have been scarred at a very deep level, more often than not they have had dysfunctional upbringings, their parents weren’t there for them, they didn’t get the love, support and encouragement that they needed to be a healthy functioning part of society. They attempt to make themselves feel better by bringing other people down. Their ego is so badly damaged and they lack confidence and self security, they bully and manipulate others as a way of making themselves feel better, feel stronger.

Having this insight, I can feel compassion towards them but we must maintain our own inner harmony. We must set for ourselves very clear boundaries as to what behaviour we will and won’t accept. When others overstep these boundaries we must let them know. It is ok to give them a second chance, but if we give them chance after chance after chance then they are just going to take advantage of our kindness. Eventually they will turn to manipulation, bullying and plan old nastiness if they don’t get their own way.

If you find yourself surrounded by people who aren’t supportive, who are’t loving, kind and caring then it’s time you simply get yourself some new friends. That is what I intend on doing next week. I am joining some new groups, I am getting involved in hobbies and activities that I’ve wanted to do for some time. Meeting new, like minded people and developing new, healthier relationships in your life is a priority.

Often people on the path of self development find that the friendships they used to have no longer serve them. We are progressing, we are becoming more aware and more conscious. They, on the other hand are not, they are stuck in their own negativity, their own drama. It is often the case that one day we realise that we are being held back by the people in our lives. We can thank them for the lessons, accepting that we came together for a reason, but people move on.

This also tends to happen when people start a family and have a baby and children to look after, if your friends don’t have children they cannot possibly understand how your priorities change, some just don’t understand that as a mother your child comes first and foremost and when your children are babies there is very little spare time. With that spare time you want to be around people who are fun and happy and supportive. Don’t feel bad about saying good bye to friendships that no longer serve you.

I try to keep my posts positive, I’m a happy, optimistic, positive person. Though I feel it is also necessary to share the not so good things that can happen in life. There will always be obstacles and challenges that we must face and overcome and if I am able to help other people get through these times more quickly and easily than I want to do that.

Take care of yourselves, don’t let others bring you down, take stock of the people you have in your life, nurture the relationships that bring you joy, let go of the ones that don’t. We often just get stuck in a rut with the same old people, let them go and bring new, happy, healthy people into your life.

Get your Mojo back.

What do you value?

Do you know what your values are?

Knowing what you value is essential to your self development and personal development. I believe it is THE first step in your personal growth.

If you don’t know what your values are it is about time you closely examine just what it is that is important in your life. If you don’t know what you value you end up on a roller coaster going around and around in circles, doing what other people want you to do and getting no where. If you don’t know what you value then you won’t know what you want and if you don’t know what you want then you won’t be able to get there.

Getting from A to B is so much easier if you know what you want to focus on. If you know what makes you happy. There are many many books about the law of attraction, about getting what you want, about achieving your goals. It is said ‘Just ask for what you want!’ Though if you don’t know what you want how can you possibly get it?

Examining your values and what you hold important in your life is the first step in achieving a happier, more enjoyable life. Knowing your values will give your life direction. You will know what to ask for, you will know what it is that YOU want from life. You will be able to start making progress and achieving the life that you want.

Something happens when you start to look at your value systems. You begin to see that many of the things you thought you valued, you don’t. They are what someone else has told you is important in life. Your current values may have come from your parents, friends, society, other influential people in your life.

I remember the day very clearly when I came across the importance of values. I was at University and the assignment was to write about my top 5 values and why they were important to me. I was shocked, it was like someone had hit me in the stomach. I had absolutely no idea! Why I hadn’t been asked about this before? Why had no one talked to me about what I believed to be important in life?

I began to examine what it was that I valued in life, I started off by googling ‘list of values’ as I had no idea where to even start! As I started reading through the list of values I became so angry. Why had I never been asked this question before?! I was 35 years old and I didn’t have a clear, concise knowledge of what I believed was important for me to have a happy, meaningful life. I was doing what other people told me to do and was wondering why I was so desperately unhappy.

In the resource tab you will find a list of values go through them checking off, what it is that is important to you. Then go one step further and write down why this is important to you. You may well discover you are moving through life trying to achieve something that you actually don’t value.

For example, you may write down success. What is success to you? If you don’t know what success means to you then how will you know when you have achieved this.

You may begin by writing something like. ‘Success to me is finding a secure job and working hard so that I may get a promotion and more income.’ Really? I mean, really? Is that what you think success is? I have seen people write similar sentences over and over again and when they read it back to themselves you can see the look of total confusion and frustration on their faces. This isn’t important to them! This is why they are unhappy and stressed out all the time. This is what other people, this is what society has told you success is. People will often then say ‘Well, yes, I do value being successful, but to me being successful is owning my own business, doing what I love, doing what I enjoy. If I did that then I would be successful.”

Defining your values and what they mean to you is the first step in self development and consciously creating the life you want. Once you do this you can begin to make plans to change.

 

Peace Out 🙂

Post Navigation

%d bloggers like this: