Archive for the category “Self Development”

Positive does not mean you’re always cheery

Having a positive attitude or outlook does not mean you are cheery all the time. Just because you are living a happier life does not mean you will be smiling and accepting of everything, every day. Everyone gets the blues or has a bad day. Not letting it get to you and how you deal with a down day is the key.

If you always have a negative attitude, things will be more likely to cause you stress. It’s a downward spiral, and it can be very difficult to shake. With a negative attitude, you tend to spread the misery. If you are having a bad day, you are more likely to take out your frustrations on the server who accidentally brought you French fries instead of a baked potato. Like your mother always said: if you have nothing nice to say, keep it to yourself.

What a positive attitude will help you to do is realize that mistakes happen, and that the world is not going to end because someone brought you the wrong potatoes. In the grand scheme of things, the mistake is completely insignificant.

Even with a positive attitude, you will have frustrations. You will not always have a smile on your face. You will be sad or angry in some moments, or even for entire days. Having a positive outlook does not mean you will accept everything presented to you. It does not mean you will not argue with your spouse or children. It does not mean you will like everything or everyone.

Positivity is contagious. The quickest way to improve your world is to improve yourself and your perspective on life. It’s all in how you look at things. Sometimes you will look and feel that things are total crap. But do you dwell on that, or do you find a solution?

Perhaps someone close to you has passed away. You will feel sadness and grief, but you can’t fix the situation; you can’t bring them back; you need to move on. This doesn’t mean you will forget them or not be sad for a while, but it will pass. If you let it get you down, you might never leave the house.

Don’t suppress any negative feelings you may have, but instead acknowledge them and deal with them in a positive fashion. Noting your emotions in your journal is a great way to express what you are feeling. Writing things down will also help you see that many things are just minor bumps in the road in the big picture of life.

Peace Out 🙂

Keep your relationships healthy and transparent

Our lives depend on the relationships we have. Our relationships with our family and friends have great impact on our personal life where as relationships at the workplace controls our career. Relationships are like baby trees. You have to nurture them, keep them clean and protected. Otherwise they will become dull and eventually, dead. You certainly don’t want your relations to become dull or dead.

Our relationships are most affected by our hectic work schedules and busy life. Your problems are never only yours. They affect your relationships very badly. Sometimes a bad relationship can become an unbearable burden to you. That’s why it is so important to keep your relationships healthy and transparent. With our extra busy life it’s not easy to take care of the relationships. But there are some steps we can follow to keep our relationships healthy.

Steps of keeping a healthy relationship:

  1. Don’t avoid a problem in a relationship. If any problem occurs, speak directly and explain it.
  2. If you can’t do something, let the person know. Don’t keep your commitments hanging in the air.
  3. If you are offended by someone’s words or action, tell them directly. Tolerance never does any good.
  4. Don’t suppress your anger or annoyance for too long. Because if you keep suppressing them, they will just become intolerable and you will outburst. It is not good for your health or your relationship.
  5. If you can’t support an action or a decision, speak it out. Don’t pressurize yourself to accept something you can’t support.
  6. Be strong. Don’t give in to someone’s illegitimate demands. Don’t lose your self-respect while trying to please someone else. Don’t pressurize yourself into doing something just in the name of good sport.
  7. Too much modesty is not good. You don’t have to be too polite. Just keep the necessary respect.
  8. Never insult yourself trying to socialize or be popular. Always take what’s rightfully yours and respect others rights.
  9. Let others know what you like and what you don’t. By keeping mum you just insult yourself and your choices.
  10. You have to stand up for your rights. Learn to be tough when it’s necessary. Sometimes saying ‘NO’ to an unjust demand is the best you can do.

 

There will always be problems in life. It’s the same with relationships. There will be bumps in the road. Sometimes you will be able to solve them; sometimes they will knock you down. But if you try to avoid them, it will just increase pressure on your mind, create distances, and harm your relationship. In the ride of life, your relationships will ride along with you all the time. And if you keep your relationships healthy and transparent, they will be your aid in the troublesome times. If you don’t, they can add more problems to your already troubled life. You have to decide what you want your relationships to be- your savior or your burden.

Peace Out 🙂

Sign up for FREE video tutorials here

Finding your Inspiration

Inspiration does not come with a rule book. There is no one-size-fits-all. Often what inspires you will be meaningless to someone else. Where they see a river, you may see a flowing blue-green path full of life that has seen wonders along its shores of which you can only imagine.

Motivation requires action. Inspiration on the other hand, is more of an idea, and can come from anywhere at any time. Inspiration is a feeling deep within yourself that you must do something. There may be no logical reason why, you just know that you must. Inspiration is the spark that gets you started. Motivation is what will keep you going.

So, where might you find inspiration? It’s all around you.

Inspiration may sneak up and tap your shoulder you while you are playing with your children, cooking a meal, driving to work, reading a great book, or even while you are taking a shower. These are all routine activities and a time when your mind is allowed to wander. This is exactly the time that the doors of possibility open and inspiration slips inside.

Doodling is a great activity for opening the door. Let your mind be free of the clutter of life. Who cares if your stick people are lacking character! Just have fun with it. With a clear mind you will find random ideas start to creep in. Great ideas, crazy ideas, incredible ideas.

Another place inspiration can be found is at your local market. Let your senses be stimulated by the sights and smells of the season, the activity of the merchants selling their goods, and the taste of the dishes you will create with your purchases. An art gallery or museums are other good places to visit when looking for inspiration.

Many times we are inspired by the acts of others who have completed amazing feats like climbing a mountain, or who have dedicated their lives to helping others. You may be inspired by love, by a friendship, or by nature.

I find inspiration in my little girl. She inspires me to want to lead a better, happier, fulfilling life. She inspires me to want to become someone who will inspire her.

Inspiration will find you when you least expect it. When it does find you, recognize its potential and happily take the ride. Perhaps you will become an inspiration to someone else along the way.

Peace Out

Go here to get your FREE video tutorials 

Think like a champion

There are always times when we feel like luck has turned against us. That everything is going wrong and the word around us is collapsing. And there are people who have the perfect life you always wished for. Those who rule life like champions. What you have to know that, the person who has everything on his side, doesn’t have any super power, or luck favoritism. Yes, he is talented and special but so are you. The only thing that makes someone successful and others not is the mindset. To become a champion, you have to think like a champion. The people who are successful in their fields always think that nothing is impossible for them as long as they try hard. If you keep thinking that something is not possible for you then it will become impossible though you had the potentials for doing it. Because you already gave up on trying thinking you can’t do this. Negative thinking compels us on quitting things in the middle while positive thinking drives us, makes us work harder to achieve our goals. Negative thinking stops us from facing the problem and creates illusions making us addicted to thinking negatives. As a result you lose everything. So the first step towards success is to let go negative thinking and start thinking positively.

How to stop negative thinking:

  1. First you have to identify the negative thoughts.
  2. Challenge the negative thoughts. Are they right? Are they necessary? Are they helpful? Ask yourself these questions.
  3. Practice positive thinking. Whenever any negative thought comes to your mind, try to think something positive. Diverting your mind is always helpful. Make yourself busy with some work so your mind doesn’t get time to ponder over the negative thought.

 

Practice positive thinking:

  1. Tell yourself repeatedly that you can do this.
  2. Tell yourself that you deserve more than what you settle for and there’s no reason that you shouldn’t get your goal.
  3. Even if there are reasons for you to not succeed, you can beat them all.
  4. Believe in yourself and your abilities. Keep yourself reminding that you are a gifted person and so very special.

When you have the right mind set and believe in your abilities everything seems possible and that gives you the strength to fight for what you want and makes you a winner. So think positively to get your goals.

Motivation

Knowing what drives you to succeed is a powerful tool to have in your self-development arsenal. When you know what motivates you, you can seek out that driving force when you just don’t feel like taking another step.

 

Motivators are factors in your life that drive you to succeed and are not fleeting. They are things that provide you with a deep sense that you must continue on the path toward your goals.

 

Although perceived as a great motivator, money is actually rated very low in many employee surveys. That’s because money doesn’t make you feel good long-term. Having extra money makes you excited for a little while, like when you find a $20 in last season’s coat pocket, but then you spend it, and the feeling is gone.

 

Perhaps you think you are motivated by money. Consider what it is about having money is actually motivating you. It is more likely that your motivation is a sense of security: having savings for emergencies or retirement; knowing you can pay the bills month to month; paying off a debt or mortgage.

 

Are you motivated by being part of a group or club? Being part of a group of people who share the same interests and from whom you can learn something can be a fantastic motivator. The sense of community and belonging may motivate you to join other special interest groups, or want to do more for others and inspire you to volunteer at charity events.

 

Many people are motivated by recognition, whether they are recognized in big ways or small ones, from the boss emailing the whole company to congratulate you on a job well done, to a co-worker telling you how impressed they were with your work on a project. It is often the quieter forms of recognition that we receive each day that mean more, and are most often overlooked, like when your family tells you what a fabulous dinner you made, or your child thanks you for reading them a story. Try to be more aware of the simple recognition in your daily life, both in what you receive as well as that which you give.

 

Accomplishment is also a great motivator. That sense that you have completed something and can say ‘I did it!’ Maybe it’s the mental challenge of the morning crossword in the newspaper, or committing to taking a walk every day and actually doing it.  It’s that wonderful sensation that you showed yourself (and possibly the world) that you could do it, that makes you want to complete other tasks and goals.

 

There is a strong motivator out there that has to be treated rather cautiously: competition. Too often the drive to be the top salesperson at your firm, or having the best bowling score can become an obsession, and you lose sight of the truly important things in your life. If competition is your biggest motivator, you likely find subtle and not so subtle was to make everything a game where there is a clear winner. Be careful of this motivator! Do not be sucked into the belief that you are nothing if you aren’t the best, or that the only outcome of not winning is losing.

 

All of these motivators create those lasting ‘feel good’ vibes. When you start to feel defeated and like you don’t know why you are trying to do something, tap into your motivators to get you back on track.

 

What gets you off the proverbial couch and moving in the direction of your goals?

Are You A Yes Person?

Do you automatically say ‘Yes’ to whatever anyone asks of you? Alot of people do this. People call me, so stressed out, exhausted and overwhelmed. When I ask them what their day of week has been like they often break out in tears. Often saying “I just can’t do it anymore!”

Over time, they’ve agreed to do so much for other people that they literally have no time left for themselves. They end up sleep deprived, they suffer insomnia, they suffer from increasing levels of anxiety. Then, after a while this starts to manifest in physical symptoms. Back pain, headaches, ulcers, their weight fluctuates. If left for too long they may develop dis-ease.

They start telling me what they do on a daily basis. Their list of things they do for other people is endless. Then I ask them ‘What do you do for you?’ I can see them searching, trying to remember the last time they stopped. The last time they just relaxed or did something enjoyable or fun.

There’s a sense of relief. They finally know what’s ailing them. They also usually feel angry towards the other people in their lives that have kept asking them to do things for them.

They need to start to re-establish their boundaries. They need to stop automatically saying ‘Yes’. Initially this can be challenging. It has become habit, second nature. They are also fearful of offending others by saying ‘No’. I suggest to people that when they are asked to do something, to say “Let me think about it.” Or, ‘Just let me see what else I’ve got on, I’ll get back to you.” This is a reasonable request and the other person can not be offended, you have the right to take your time and think about it.

Then go away and ask yourself one question, and one question only. “Do I want to do this?” This one question will do wonders for your life. If you don’t want to do it, then don’t. If you do want to do it, then go ahead. You have to stop doing things in order to please others. You will just end up resenting the other person. You will end up exhausted, emotionally, mentally and physically.

Remember there is one question and one question only. “Do I want to do it?”

 

Peace Out 🙂

 

(P.S Obviously there are times when there will be things you need to do. Especially when it comes to your children. Then, you need to change the way you look at it, turning it into a positive. I will go into this in a later article.)

How to Get What You Want – Part 1

There is unlimited potential for those who are passionate and motivated. 

Your life is created by your mind. Whatever you have in your life started off with a thought. Think about it. Your clothes, you bed, your education, your job, the house your in, the partner you’re with. All started with a thought.

What you think about is what you get. Your outer world reflects your inner world. Happy people know what they want and figure out how to get it. Unhappy people complain, worry and blame.

If you don’t know what you want, you can’t get there. You just go through life unconscious, on autopilot, going through the motions.

If you know what you want and are passionate about it. If your mind has something clear and tangible to focus on. You mind will start looking for and seeing how you can get what it is you want.

So what is it that you want?

Do you know what you want? Have you written your goals down? Do you focus on them and work towards them everyday? Most people don’t, and they can’t work out why they are unhappy. Firstly, they haven’t spent the time deciding what it is they want and secondly they don’t write it out. There are a few reasons why people don’t have goals, here they are below.

1. They haven’t been told about them. Do your family and friends talk about their values and their goals? Did your teachers at school tell you about them?

2. They don’t know how. They have never been taught what goals are, and hot to set specific goals. Goals that they want to achieve.

3. They hate goals. Goals have been forced upon them, they have been set for them by other people. They’ve been made to do things that other people want them to do.

4. They just wish and daydream. They don’t make clear, specific, well thought out goals.

5. They fear failure. They are scared to set goals incase they don’t teach them. Or incase they fail and it hurts them financially, or emotional. They’re too scared to want something in case they don’t get it.

6. They fear rejection. They fear other criticisms, judgements, they fear ridicule. People don’t like to see others do better than them. If your family are supportive that’s great. If not then don’t tell them about your goals. Unless you’re 100% sure the person you tell your goals to are going to be supportive and not criticize, then don’t tell them.

The first thing I want you to do now is take time out for yourself to sit down and write out what it is you want. In following posts I will go into more detail about how to write out specific goals that will change your life, in the meantime, get out a piece of paper, or write in your journal all the things you want. They don’t have to be in any particular order. Don’t censor them. They can be big or small. The point here is just to start.

 

Have a Mojo Day 🙂

 

 

Overcoming Obstacles

On the road to accomplish your goal, you will encounter obstacles. How you deal with those challenges will make all the difference in your world.

What are your options?

You could just stop. Surrender. Let the obstacle defeat you. Give up on your goal. Give up on a happy and fulfilling life.

Or, you could accept that with change comes challenge. Accept that overcoming these obstacles is part of your growth and self-development on the path to the person you want to become, living the life you want to live.

You will come up against obstacles, and you will need to figure out how to go around, over, or through them. It is possible that you will be required to change your path entirely. There is nothing wrong with having to find another way to reach your goal, as long as you do take the action required to find that alternate path.

Do not let the challenge become the sole focus of your day. Sometimes the best solutions will come to you when you are not thinking about the problem.

Sleep on it. It’s amazing how the morning can give you a new perspective on the obstacle and open your mind to the possibilities that could solve the problem.

Ask for help if you need it. Talking about the challenge with someone who is supportive of the change you are making, or someone who has made the change themselves, could provide solutions you had not thought of.

Didn’t meet your weight loss goal of the week.

Didn’t pass a test in a course to further your education.

You have writers block.

Didn’t get the promotion.

Acknowledge that the week didn’t go as well as you would have liked, but take a moment to examine why this obstacle appeared in the first place.

Did you eat right and exercise every day?

Did you understand all the material?

Sometimes there will be no clear answer. That’s ok. Sometimes things just happen (or don’t). If there is an answer, be sure to work in into your goal path.

You didn’t understand all the material you were being tested on. Did you ask for help and clarification? Did you do everything you could to gain a better understanding?

The most important thing is not to get discouraged. Your biggest critic is you. Not succeeding does not mean that you failed. Maybe you need to make some tweaks to your plan.

You didn’t lose the amount of weight you wanted to this week. Maybe it’s time to make adjustments to your exercise routine.

Do focus on what you did accomplish. If you lost some of the weight, that’s still something. You didn’t pass the test, but you did sign up to take the course. You didn’t get the promotion, but at least you applied.

If you do start to feel defeated and think maybe you should quit, think about why you started making the change in the first place. Take inspiration from what you have already accomplished, and move forward. Accept the learning lessons presented to you in overcoming the obstacle and apply them to your goal path.

Life would be boring without the challenges.

 

Have a Mojo Day 🙂

Make It A Great Day

“Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.” ~ Groucho Marx

How often do you tell someone ‘Have a great day’, or receive the sentiment yourself? It is a nice sentiment to offer, but it could be better.

‘Have a great day’ implies that you only hope the day goes well. You don’t anticipate having a bad day, but one never knows… You are only hoping the day goes as planned, but you are prepared for the worst. You are open to the idea that things will go wrong.

What if you improved your outlook a little, with only two words?

How about changing the phrase to ‘Make it a great day’? Does that not sound somewhat more inspiring? Somewhat more empowering even? It implies that the day is what you make it, so make it great.

Sure, you slept in, spilled coffee on your shirt, got stuck in traffic, and are late for work. It’s only 9am, and so far, it’s not looking like a great day. But because you are going to make it a great day, let the issues of the early morning go, and focus on how fantastic the rest of the day can be!

Even if at the end of it all, it seems like every single piece of your day was terrible, it’s how you choose to look at things that makes all the difference in the world.

This is the place, the proverbial line in the sand, where those with a positive attitude choose to make it a great day and be happy, and everyone else dwells on the fact that everything went wrong, and they are unhappy.

Start using the expression ‘Make it a great day’. Not only will it give you a positive outlook, but it will also give a positive vibe to those around you. Once you decide to embrace this motto, you will find yourself looking for the positive aspects in every part of your day.

Making it a great day is all about the little things that make you smile, make you feel good, and give you that happy feeling. It’s the little things that combine to create a big overall happiness. This could be something as simple as the plain old ham and cheese sandwich you eat for lunch tasting exceptionally good because you enjoyed it outside in the fresh air.

Maybe you make it a great day by doing something kind for someone else, such as giving up your seat on the bus for an elderly rider. Perhaps you love to cook, and you make it a great day by cooking a special dinner for your family using their favourite recipes.

You don’t have to wait until tomorrow to start having this new outlook. Do it today.

Have a Mojo Day 🙂

Is it really for you?

Most of us can say that at some point in our lives we made a change for someone else. Maybe you changed your hairstyle to impress a special someone. Maybe you participated in a team sport because all of your friends were doing the same.

It is important to be sure that the life changes you are making, or are about to make, are for you.

Take the time to analyze the change you want to make. Why is it important to you? How is it going to make you have a happier life? How will the change make you feel more satisfied with your life?

Are you moving back to the small town where you grew up to be closer to family, reconnect with friends, and find a simpler way of life? Or are you doing it because your mother wants you to be near by?

Are you trying to lose 20 pounds to be healthier, have more energy, and feel better about yourself? Or are you doing it in the hopes that a certain person finds you more attractive?

Are you training to become a doctor because you want to help people have better health, and you believe that helping others makes the world a better place? Or are you training because your parents want to have a doctor in the family?

In all of these examples, the first question should be answered positively. The second question could be an added bonus in that you are pleasing someone else in the process of improving your own state of mind.

If the primary reason for the change is not to ultimately increase your happiness, question why you are making the change.

Although making a change to please someone else will provide a brief sense of fulfillment, in the long run you may end up even unhappier than you were before.

Let go of the notion that you are obligated to change for the people around you. Don’t be persuaded by what society thinks you should do, act like, look like, or otherwise have an opinion about. Change will only last if it is your idea in the first place.

When you look over the list of items required for your ideal life, be sure the focus is on you.

Believe that what you want is attainable.

Have a Mojo Day

Peace Out 🙂

Post Navigation

%d bloggers like this: