The Art Of Forgiving

Everyone has a mortal enemy list. No matter how much you deny it, there are persons who piss you off even with their presence. There are persons you hate more than anything. There are persons you wish you had never met. But the problem is, you can’t undo the past and no matter what you do, you can’t reverse time and erase the reason for your hatred. So you are stuck with your hatred. You have to bear your hatred all your life. Or do you?

Hating somebody is like a heavy burden to your heart. It is painful. What sucks even more is that, the person you hate, most of the times; don’t give a damn about your hatred. Your hatred affects nobody but you. By hating somebody you give them more chance to hurt you again and again.

Your hatred can be justified. Let’s say, the people you hate deserve to be hated. Some of them have broken your heart, your trust and hurt you beyond your imagination. You are right, and they do deserve to be hated. But is it worth it if the hatred hurts only you? You have to let go your grudge. You must learn to forgive to bring peace to your mind.

Forgiving is a practice. It is not easy to forgive someone in the true sense. But it makes life so much easier. You can follow some steps which will help you forgive someone.

Steps of forgiving:

  1. Remember that the person who has wronged you is also subjected to errors. He/she made a terrible mistake but that doesn’t mean that he/she can’t be forgiven.
  2. Try to judge if your hatred is fully justified. May be there is another part of the story you don’t know. May be the person isn’t so bad after all. He/ she just made a bad decision.
  3. If someone indeed deserves your hatred, then that person definitely doesn’t deserve to be remembered. As long as you hate him, you can’t forget him. So forgive and forget.
  4. You forgive somebody doesn’t mean that you support their action or you forget what they did to you. You just accept the fact that they are not as perfect as you wished them to be.
  5. You remember that by forgiving someone you are not doing a favor to them. You are doing this for yourself.

Forgiving is the first step of moving on. Wounds heal when you move on. So let’s just forgive those silly little persons who never understood your worth and hurt you. In the end, it’s their loss that they don’t have such a wonderful person as you in their lives.

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