Are You A Yes Person?
Do you automatically say ‘Yes’ to whatever anyone asks of you? Alot of people do this. People call me, so stressed out, exhausted and overwhelmed. When I ask them what their day of week has been like they often break out in tears. Often saying “I just can’t do it anymore!”
Over time, they’ve agreed to do so much for other people that they literally have no time left for themselves. They end up sleep deprived, they suffer insomnia, they suffer from increasing levels of anxiety. Then, after a while this starts to manifest in physical symptoms. Back pain, headaches, ulcers, their weight fluctuates. If left for too long they may develop dis-ease.
They start telling me what they do on a daily basis. Their list of things they do for other people is endless. Then I ask them ‘What do you do for you?’ I can see them searching, trying to remember the last time they stopped. The last time they just relaxed or did something enjoyable or fun.
There’s a sense of relief. They finally know what’s ailing them. They also usually feel angry towards the other people in their lives that have kept asking them to do things for them.
They need to start to re-establish their boundaries. They need to stop automatically saying ‘Yes’. Initially this can be challenging. It has become habit, second nature. They are also fearful of offending others by saying ‘No’. I suggest to people that when they are asked to do something, to say “Let me think about it.” Or, ‘Just let me see what else I’ve got on, I’ll get back to you.” This is a reasonable request and the other person can not be offended, you have the right to take your time and think about it.
Then go away and ask yourself one question, and one question only. “Do I want to do this?” This one question will do wonders for your life. If you don’t want to do it, then don’t. If you do want to do it, then go ahead. You have to stop doing things in order to please others. You will just end up resenting the other person. You will end up exhausted, emotionally, mentally and physically.
Remember there is one question and one question only. “Do I want to do it?”
Peace Out 🙂
(P.S Obviously there are times when there will be things you need to do. Especially when it comes to your children. Then, you need to change the way you look at it, turning it into a positive. I will go into this in a later article.)